It’s been four weeks since I began refeeding after my 26 day water fast, and enough time has gone by for me to reflect on the changes I am going through. I have been following a 100% raw fruitarian diet the entire time. I have managed to follow Loren Lockman’s plan very easily (though technically I still have 3 weeks to go) with some exceptions. I used salt and hot pepper sparingly and on occasion, had one cooked fish dinner with wine, and had a couple coffee/honey/banana smoothies. My reason for these exceptions was because as I am doing this diet, I am traveling through Costa Rica and Panama, and it was a pity for me not to taste Costa Rican fresh organic coffee or a freshly caught red snapper in a Creole restaurant on the caribbean coast of Panama. I really believe that in many cases, a sense of deprivation is much worse for the body than any negative effects a food may have (but more on that some other time).
This month has been incredibly transformational and healing for me physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
The photo on the left was taken four days before I began fasting. I was 150 lbs, bloated, and had light acne and dermatitis, both on my face (though it was fairly clear that week, probably due to the sun). The photo was taken on the beach on a partly-sunny day. The second picture was taken three days after I left Tanglewood on a beach, in a shady spot on a sunny day. What has been the most impressive of physical changes for me was the brightness in my eyes. They had become much lighter blue within just a few days (about when I stopped eliminating old material). For the first time in my life, I am receiving comments and compliments daily about my eyes. At the time of the color shift, my eyes were much more sensitive to sunlight, and I needed a hat to protect them. That sensitivity has subsided.
Another obvious change has been the bloating and weight loss. I no longer feel as though I retain water. My weight is stable between 125 and 130 lbs (I’m happy with this weight, I have a slim build and am 5’9″), and I don’t feel as though I have regained any fat. I eat very large portions, have a huge appetite, and still am maintaining a reasonably flat stomach.
My skin feels incredibly smooth. During the refeeding process, layers and layers of skin would come off, revealing healthy new skin underneath. Some scars have lightened. My nails are weak again (they hardened during the fast, but have gone back to breaking easily). I am much more tolerant to sunlight, and do not burn as easily.
My hair feels much healthier. I have continued to go “no-poo”. I haven’t used any type of soap on my hair, and it feels very healthy and clean. I scrub it when I swim in the ocean (an alternative to that would be baking soda, which I haven’t needed) and then scrub and rinse very well in the shower. I occasionally use a 50-50 vinegar/water solution when it starts feeling dry or damaged and it leaves it feeling as though I have used conditioner. My teeth are whiter and healthier than before. They feel much stronger, and the tips that were a bit transparent before have filled in and are white now.
I don’t feel as though I have any body odor, I am very clean. I don’t use soap in the shower, just exfoliating with a dry skin brush or a wash cloth. I am also very regular, usually have a bowel movement shortly after every meal (unless I overdo it on the fat or greens), and it’s easy, fast and doesn’t smell too bad (seriously! my shit don’t stink!). I am a mosquito magnet though, I seem to be getting bit constantly.
Although I haven’t recovered all of my strength yet, my energy is heightened, and I’m very active every day. For the most part, I wake up naturally and refreshed very early in the morning and need less sleep than I used to. My mood is super positive, however, if I go too long without eating fruit and get undercarbed I get very cranky… probably more than I used to.
I feel more attractive than I was. I get hit on a lot more and people often compliment me, especially about my skin and eyes. I do believe tha is a reflection of my interior, perhaps I’m more attractive to people because I feel much happier, and I am more confident.
Mental and Emotional Changes
My mental and emotional shift (I feel as though for me they are very tied together) has been the most profound part of this process for me. Before the fast, I had a chronic case of “brain fog”. I was extremely spacey and forgetful. I found myself constantly thinking negatively (but not fully knowing what I was thinking about). It was difficult for me to concentrate and collect my thoughts. I was mentally anxious, frightened, and disconnected from myself. I was depressive and more than occasionally had suicidal thoughts. I was also nervous to express myself to people. When I would reflect on my life, my personality, my future, etc. I’d be filled with panic… I didn’t know what to do with myself. Fear dominated me for a large part of my adult life. That has quickly shifted throughout the fast and refeeding! I am a new woman! I am ME again!!
During the fast, my mind calmed down very slowly, and by the third week my thoughts were very clear, and I was incredibly inspired and connected with my desires and intuition. The fear that I had had about my future completely transformed into motivation and passion. As I refed, and then got out into the world, I found myself putting those inspirations into practice bit by bit, day by day. I no longer fear judgment (to that paralyzing degree), I found self confidence, and am now able to open up and be honest with people. I have been able to make profound connections and express myself to people in a way that I was unable to do before. I am excited and hopeful about my future, and very confident that I am capable of creating the life I have always wanted. My thoughts are more coherent, positive and productive, and most importantly, I am happy.
I feel as though the black cloud of depression that has hung over me since I was a teenager has dissipated. It is so unfamiliar to me, and I am buzzing with excitement to feel this liberation. Of course it is too soon to say anything, but right now, I am sure my depression is cured.
I was unsure that I would feel any changes spiritually when I went into this, partly because although spirituality has always attracted me, I have always been resistant to new-agey or “hippie” ideas. I’ve never considered myself a spiritual or even intellectual person, my truest and most profound experiences have always been on a very physical plane.
But as I was told would happen, want it or not, spirituality thrives in a fasting and clean body. Concepts and ideas that once where intelligible and interesting to me (such as manifesting and intuition) have become very real and tangible. I haven’t had any profound “aha!” moments, met God, nor have I become more fluent in the language of spirit… nor am I any more interested in focusing on new-agey concepts. But somehow I have found myself unintentionally but successfully practicing manifestation daily. As I have been traveling around Costa Rica and Panama, I have been proven time and time again that we are constantly creating our realities, and via our thoughts and intentions attracting what it is we desire and need. I also have found faith in the god or goddess of travel, who seems to be looking out for me in such a way that I now believe myself to be incredibly blessed and feel as though I should build a shrine or temple in gratitude!
My intuition has been guiding me in such a way that I no longer make plans more than one or two days in advance, because somehow, things are going exactly the way they need to. I know this because I am more lucid and aware enough to recognize lessons that can be learned from every person, place or situation. And with that, am learning so much about myself, relationships, honesty, intentions, communication… For example, the right people seem to be showing up at the right times. People who can point me in the right direction, give me much needed advice, keep me company, etc. The most recent lesson I have learned has been about my need to be completely honest in order to preserve my happiness. I have been traveling with a new friend for about a week now. It worked out perfectly that we had the same tentative travel plans, and because I knew Spanish and he is a big tall German, it only made sense for the two of us to cross the border into Panama together.
When I met him I was euphoric, buzzing from a previous positive experience, so I wasn’t interested in opening up to him. This however became a problem, because there was something he would do that really bothered me, and I realized that it made me grumpy, and brought my happiness levels down. I blamed him, yet didn’t have the confidence or trust to tell him what was bothering me.. and so out of frustration, I was rude to him on several occasions. It was out of character for me, and I didn’t like it. After about a week of this hanging over my head, I finally decided to tell him what it was that bothered me. And the problem was solved just like that! He was completely unaware of his behavior, and quickly apologized and made a mends… Lesson learned: Hiding something in order to save face or avoid hurting someone only causes unnecessary suffering for everyone involved. Honesty in all moments is the basis of positive relationships. Although I already “knew” that, putting it into practice has been a leap in my personal growth.
Another thing that I am experiencing are synchronicities. Coincidences which are just too ironic or frequent to be coincidences. It hasn’t served me for much yet, but it’s been fun!
In short, what has been theory for years is becoming practice all on its own. I am not making any special effort for this, nor am I really even meditating or focusing on these things.
Eating all raw is becoming easier and easier with time, mostly because I am enjoying the benefits so much. Temptations have completely subsided, and I get really excited about eating a big papaya or a bunch of ripe mangos. Things like cakes and breads are no longer appetizing to me (or just don’t seem worth eating anymore). The fact that I will allow myself to have fresh fish occasionally makes me feel much more relaxed about committing to this diet for as long as it serves me.
It’s been a while… click here for my latest update!
P.S. I’d love to meet you on Facebook!